Saturday, 15 June 2013

Total BS from M&S

What do you think this juice is made of?  Cherries and passion fruit, with a hint of vanilla?  No - it's made of apples.  It's apple juice.  You can figure this out by reading the small print, which claims, seemingly without embarassment, "We've pressed 7 apples, 13 cherries & 1 passion fruit into each carton".  Thirteen cherries - count them, M&S clearly did - and yet the title says CHERRY with no mention of APPLE. Lord knows how much vanilla is in there - 4 microns?
Here's my new proposed title after M&S are taken to the Advertising Standards Authority:  'APPLE JUICE, with a hint of cherry, one passion fruit, and a mere scintilla of vanilla'.

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Who wants to be this guy?

There's so much to dislike about this picture.  A fat lonely bloke with grey hair, clearly holding his stomach in, is sitting on fake sand, wearing wearing what look like skin-tight long johns.  Night is coming on; it must be getting cold.  He is gazing folornly out towards what appears to be the part-frozen Arctic ocean.  Perhaps he is contemplating ending it all.  Somewhere off to the right, a bright artificial light illuminates his pasty pink skin.  Are we supposed to want to be him, or be in his situation?  Are these people nuts?

Sunday, 17 March 2013

Emirates welcomes you to Dubai

Some luckless chap with a briefcase has been killed and chucked into the harbour.

His body floats in the water, attracting hundreds of hungry fish, including what look to be pirhanas.

The opening sequence of a thriller?

No - an advert for Emirates Airlines.

Straplines they rejected:

    "Swim with the fishes in Dubai."

    "Welcome to Dubai, Mr Bond."